Alright, let’s talk about something I caught myself doing, this whole ‘putting someone on a pedestal’ business. It’s a tricky one, sneaks up on you if you’re not careful. I definitely went through a phase with this, and figuring out how to stop was a real process.
It started a few years back. There was this person I met, let’s just say in a professional context. They seemed to have it all figured out – super confident, articulate, always seemed to say the right thing. My first instinct was just pure admiration, you know? But it quickly tipped over into something else.
I found myself hanging on their every word. Seriously. I started second-guessing my own thoughts if they didn’t align with what this person might think or say. I’d find excuses for any little inconsistencies I noticed in their behavior or opinions. “Oh, they probably had a good reason,” or “I must have misunderstood.” Classic pedestal building. I was basically polishing the statue I’d put them on.
Looking back, it came from a place of insecurity on my part. I wasn’t feeling super confident at the time, and latching onto someone who seemed ‘perfect’ felt easier than trusting my own judgment. I started changing how I acted around them, trying to be someone I thought they’d approve of. It was exhausting, and honestly, pretty demeaning to myself.
Breaking Down the Pedestal
The wake-up call wasn’t one single explosion, more like a series of small cracks. Seeing them handle stress poorly, or make a mistake they wouldn’t own up to. Moments where the ‘perfect’ image didn’t quite match reality. It forced me to confront the fact that I wasn’t seeing the real person, but a heavily edited highlight reel I’d created in my head.
So, I had to consciously start dismantling that pedestal. Here’s kinda how I went about it:
- Acknowledging it: First step was just admitting, “Okay, I’m doing this.” You can’t fix what you don’t see, right? I had to be honest with myself that I’d elevated this person unrealistically.
- Focusing on Reality: I made a real effort to observe their actions and words objectively. Not through the filter of admiration. What did they actually do? What were the actual outcomes? Not just how they made me feel.
- Humanizing Them (and Me): I started reminding myself, constantly, that everyone has flaws, makes mistakes, has bad days. Including this person. Including me. It sounds simple, but actively thinking this helped bring them back down to earth in my mind.
- Reconnecting with My Own Voice: This was crucial. I started forcing myself to form my own opinions before hearing theirs. Trusting my gut feeling again. Even if my idea felt small, I practiced valuing it.
- Setting Internal Boundaries: I stopped seeking their validation so much. Stopped mentally checking if they’d approve. Started making decisions based on my own assessment, not theirs.
Life Off the Pedestal
It took time, wasn’t an overnight fix. The dynamic shifted. It became less about me looking up to them and more about interacting eye-to-eye. Which, honestly, felt way healthier. There was less anxiety, less second-guessing myself.
The biggest takeaway? People are just people. Putting someone on a pedestal isn’t fair to them – they can never live up to that perfect image – and it’s definitely not fair to you. It stops you from seeing reality clearly and undermines your own self-worth. Nowadays, I try to meet people where they are, flaws and all. It’s a much more grounded, and frankly, more interesting way to engage with the world.
