Alright, let’s talk about this feeling I get. No me gusta compartir. Sounds harsh, maybe? But it’s not about being mean, not really. It’s more like… a gut reaction built up over time.
I remember this one time, years back. I’d spent weeks, like actual weekends and late nights, building this little script. Nothing world-changing, just a tool to automate a really tedious part of my workflow. Made my life way easier. Someone I knew saw me using it, asked if they could have it. Me, being younger and wanting to be helpful, I just handed it over. Sent the file right across.
What happened next? Well, first, they started asking me endless questions about how it worked, wanting support like I owed them something. Then, a few weeks later, I hear they showed it off to their boss, kinda presented it like their clever solution. Didn’t mention me, of course. That really stung. All that effort I put in, just handed over and then used like that.
Building Walls
That wasn’t the only time, either. Little things kept happening.
- Shared an idea in a meeting, someone else repeated it louder and got the credit.
- Lent out a tool, got it back broken or not at all.
- Gave detailed advice, only to see it ignored and then complained about later when things went wrong.
So, yeah, you start to get protective. Protective of your time, your effort, your ideas. It’s not about hoarding; it’s about avoiding that feeling of being taken advantage of or seeing your work mishandled.
Fast Forward to Recently
Just last month, I was working on a personal project. A little database thing for tracking my hobbies. Spent a good chunk of time getting it just right for me. A friend saw it, thought it was cool, and asked if I could share the template, maybe even the whole setup.
And bam, that old feeling kicked in. “No.” My immediate internal response. I almost said it out loud.
But I stopped myself. Thought about it. This was a friend, not some random colleague. But still… the memory of past experiences was strong. I pictured the questions, the potential issues if they tried to modify it and broke something, the possibility of them sharing it wider than I was comfortable with.
The Compromise
So, what did I do? I didn’t just say no. And I didn’t just hand it all over like before. I took a middle path. I spent about an hour writing up a detailed explanation of how I built it. The logic, the tools I used (mostly free stuff), the basic structure. I shared the concept, the ‘how-to’, but not the actual finished product.
I explained, “Look, this thing is super tailored to how my brain works and the specific things I track. It probably wouldn’t work for you as-is. But here’s how I made it, maybe you can build your own version that fits you perfectly.”
How It Felt
You know what? It felt okay. Better than just saying no, and definitely better than giving away something I’d poured personal effort into, only to potentially regret it later. My friend seemed to appreciate the detailed explanation. They asked a few questions about the process, which felt more like a collaboration than a demand for free work.
So yeah. No me gusta compartir is still my default setting. But maybe it’s not always a hard ‘no’. Sometimes it’s a ‘let me share in a way that works for me, that respects my effort’. It’s a boundary thing, learned the hard way. And honestly, I think it’s a healthier way for me to operate now.
