Okay, let’s talk about this whole ‘titles for women in power’ thing. It’s something I’ve bumped into quite a bit over the years, and honestly, it wasn’t always straightforward.
I remember starting out, maybe twenty years back, working on a big project. We had a new department head come in, a woman, very sharp, knew her stuff inside out. Now, the guy before her? Everyone just called him “Mr. Henderson” or sometimes just “Henderson” if you knew him a bit better. Simple enough.
But with her, Ms. Davies, things felt… different. Not because of her, she was approachable, but folks around the office seemed a bit unsure.
How We Handled It Back Then
It was a bit awkward at first. Here’s what I saw happening:
- Some people went super formal, always “Ms. Davies,” even in casual chats.
- Others tried using her first name, Sarah, but hesitated, like they were crossing a line.
- A few older guys defaulted to “Mrs. Davies,” even though we had no idea if she was married or not. That felt weirdly out of place.
- And yeah, occasionally someone would slip in a “Ma’am,” which sounded okay sometimes, but a bit stiff other times.
Nobody seemed to use just her last name, like they did with Mr. Henderson. That struck me even then. Why the difference?
I personally stuck with “Ms. Davies” in formal settings or emails, and waited to see if she preferred her first name in conversation. She actually made it easy, introducing herself as “Sarah” in smaller group meetings. That cleared things up for me, mostly.
Thinking About It Now
Looking back, it wasn’t about finding one magic title. It was more about the uncertainty people felt. Men in charge often had this default level of address – “Mr. Smith,” “Sir,” or just “Smith.” It felt established.
For women leaders, it felt like we were still figuring out the ‘standard’ way. Was it Ms.? Was first name okay? Did marital status somehow still matter (which is crazy)?
Nowadays, things are a bit better, I think. More women are in charge, and it feels less like uncharted territory. Using “Ms.” seems the most common default if you don’t know someone’s preference, which makes sense. It’s neutral. And using first names seems more common across the board for everyone once you have a working relationship.
What I learned through actually doing this stuff, dealing with people day-to-day, is that respect isn’t just in the title. It’s in how you listen, how you engage. But finding a comfortable, respectful way to initially address someone, especially a woman in a leadership role, just took some navigating. It was less about a rulebook and more about observing, maybe being a little cautious, and ideally, just asking or following their lead. It’s gotten easier, but that initial awkwardness I saw years ago definitely taught me to pay attention.
