Got this wild idea today after digging through old baseball cards: why not check what happened to those 2013 Chicago Cubs players? Everyone knows the Cubs were terrible back then, but who even were those guys? And where’d they end up? Figured it’d be fun to track ‘em down. So, fired up the laptop, grabbed some cold brew, and dove straight into the rabbit hole.
The Awful Truth First
Before hunting players, had to remember how truly bad that 2013 team was. Pulled up the stats online. Man, what a mess.
- Lost 96 games? Ouch.
- Fifth place in the division? Expected.
- That sinking feeling watching them? Yeah, that checks out.
Seriously, forget playoff dreams. The goal was basically not to trip over their own feet. Started making a list of names from that roster – some I barely recognized.
Digging Up the “Stars”
Opened a bunch of browser tabs like always. Baseball Reference first, obviously. Then straight to * news archives. Typed names one by one, muttering stuff like “Where the heck did you disappear?”
Noticed a pattern real quick:
- Anthony Rizzo: Dude was basically the ONLY bright spot back then. Young, hit 23 homers? Decent for that trainwreck. Kept following his tab – boom! World Series champ with the Cubs later. Still mashing homers now, just for other teams. Classic story.
- Starlin Castro: Shortstop guy, right? All hype. Stats looked flashy sometimes, but messy play. Clicked ahead: bounced around teams like a pinball. Yankees, Marlins…? Now? Looks like he’s done playing. Probably selling cars or something.
- Jeff Samardzija: The pitcher with the impossible last name. Remembered his weird delivery. Traded mid-season? Of course he was! Cubs sold anyone with a pulse. He ended up on the Giants? White Sox? Now… retired. Shocker.
- Travis Wood: Useful pitcher? Sometimes? Sort of? Looked him up later – okay, turns out he won a ring with the Cubs in 2016! Bullpen guy, wild. Guess he stuck around long enough for the good times. Last played in 2017.
- Nate Schierholtz: Who? Seriously. Had to Google twice. Right fielder? Meh. Played a few more years bouncing around, vanished around 2016. Probably coaching Little League now.
Found Some Jokes Too
Stumbled on Kevin Gregg. CLOSER. Ugh. Saved 33 games but felt like he blew 330. ERA near 4? Brutal. Where is he now? Gone. Probably opens pickleball courts in Arizona.
And Carlos Marmol? Oh lord, remembered him too. Wild pitcher, no control. Traded that same season? Yeah, dumped on the Dodgers. Last pitched in the majors like 2014? Looks like he coaches somewhere in the minors now. Trying to teach control? Good luck with that.
The Final Tally
After like two hours of clicking and muttering “Oh yeah… him,” here’s the brutal summary of that 2013 Cubs squad:
- ONE guy became a genuine star: Rizzo. Simple.
- A few hung around as useful pieces, like Wood.
- Most were just… there. Placeholders.
- Rest disappeared faster than pizza at a team meeting.
Kinda funny thinking about it now. The team was hot garbage, paid to lose. Looking up these names today? Most are gone, coaching youth ball, doing podcasts, or just vanished. Only Rizzo made a real, lasting name for himself. The rest? Footnotes in a terrible season Cubs fans wanna forget. Feels weird digging up these ghosts, but hey, that’s the game.
