So I’m scrolling through rugby clips last Tuesday and Wilco Louw pops up—this absolute unit crushing scrums for the Springboks. Looks like a brick wall with legs, right? Got me thinking… what if I tried mimicking his training style? Just for a week. See what happens.
How It Went Down
Monday: Rookie mistake. Woke up at 5 AM thinking “pro athletes do dawn workouts, easy.” Dragged my sleep-deprived ass to the garage gym. Googled “prop forward workouts,” found one labeled “Brutal Bokke Routine.” Started with barbell carries. Fine. Then heavy sled pushes. Okay, legs burning. Then… farmer’s walks with 70-pound dumbbells. Made it four steps before my grip quit. Dropped one dumbbell on the lawn. Neighbor’s dog looked offended.
Wednesday: Couldn’t turn my head left. Everything from traps to calves felt like overcooked spaghetti. Still attempted the “explosive power” circuit from the same site:
- Medicine ball slams (ball bounced wrong, nearly took out a window)
- Box jumps (missed the box once. Shin bruise. Lesson learned.)
- Battle ropes (lasted 90 seconds. Arms went numb.)
Friday: Full-body rebellion. Even tying shoes felt like solving a Rubik’s Cube. Scrapped the plan. Switched to “recovery” mode: Foam rolling (groaned like a dying walrus), icy bath (screamed), ate half a rotisserie chicken straight from the container.
Reality Check
Turns out, training like a 300-pound international prop isn’t sustainable when you work a desk job and your biggest daily challenge is Excel formulas. My takeaways:
- Your grip fails first. Always.
- Wilco’s probably eating 5,000 calories by lunch. I tapped out after two chicken thighs.
- Garage workouts sound gritty till you drop weights on petunias.
Am I quitting? Nah. But scaling it wayyyyy back. Maybe farmer’s walks with grocery bags next time. Milk cartons count, right? Either way—respect the pros, but know your limits. Or your shins pay the price.
