Right, so you mention Jeremy Clarkson and Range Rovers, and it immediately takes me back. I spent years watching him hoon around in them on the telly, shouting “POWERRR!” and usually getting stuck somewhere muddy or breaking down spectacularly.
You watch that enough times, and even though he often points out the flaws, part of you starts thinking, “Well, how bad can it really be? Look how comfortable it is! It can go anywhere!” That sort of thinking lodged itself in my brain for a while.
So, fast forward a bit. I found myself in a position where getting a slightly older Range Rover wasn’t completely out of the question. Saw one for sale, looked decent enough. The Clarkson voice in my head probably egged me on. “It’s a proper thing,” I told myself. So, I did it. I actually bought one.
My Time Owning the Beast
First few weeks? Felt brilliant, I won’t lie. Sitting up high, loads of leather, that V8 rumble (when it started properly). Felt like the king of the road, just like Jezza always looked. I was planning trips, thinking about all the places I could now effortlessly glide into.
Then came the first proper test. Not exactly crossing Africa, mind you. Just a weekend trip, a few hundred miles away. Packed the bags, loaded the car, felt very pleased with myself. Started the drive, car felt smooth, powerful. “See,” I thought, “Clarkson was just exaggerating for the cameras.”
Famous last words, eh?
About halfway there, cruising along quite happily, suddenly there’s a ‘bong’ sound from the dashboard. Then another. Then a whole sequence of lights came on – suspension fault, engine system fault, you name it. The engine note changed, got rough. Power just disappeared. Coasted to the side of the road, engine coughed its last breath and died. Utterly dead.
Stuck. Properly stuck.
There I was, side of a busy road, holiday plans evaporating, feeling like a complete idiot. All those Clarkson breakdowns suddenly weren’t funny anymore. They were my reality. Had to get recovered. The shame! Seeing your massive, imposing Range Rover winched onto the back of a flatbed truck… well, it’s humbling.
Lessons Learned
So, what did I learn from actually doing the Range Rover thing, inspired partly by watching Mr. Clarkson?
- He wasn’t always exaggerating about the reliability. Or maybe I just got unlucky. But yeah, things can and do go wrong, often expensively.
- The comfort and the image are definitely there. When it worked, it was lovely.
- Owning one requires deep pockets, patience, and maybe a subscription to a recovery service.
- Watching it on TV is far less stressful than owning one yourself.
Didn’t keep it long after that episode. The trust was gone, you know? Every journey felt like rolling dice. Maybe Clarkson has a team of mechanics following him around, or maybe he just finds the drama entertaining. Me? I just wanted to get where I was going. It was an experience, alright. Just not one I’m keen to repeat.
