Okay let me just rip off the band-aid right now—unlocking that Gronk Kick loot ain’t exactly handing it to you on a silver platter. Took me way longer than I care to admit, and I almost rage-quit twice. But figured it out eventually through pure stubbornness. Here’s exactly what I actually did, step by messy step:

The Setup (Where I Screwed Up at First)
First mistake: Thought I could just smack enemies until the Gronk Kick power randomly dropped. Wrong. Like, laughably wrong. Wasted a full afternoon grinding public events and lost sectors. Got bupkis. Total goose egg.
So I finally swallowed my pride and actually went digging in the triumphs menu. Felt stupid not checking sooner. Buried under the seasonal stuff—bam!—there’s a whole section for the “Celestial Kicks” event. Needed Triumph Score. That was the gatekeeper. Not just killing stuff.
How I Bagged the Kick – For Real This Time
Here’s what actually worked, after all that wasted time:
Method 1: Embrace the Bounty Grind (Yes, the boring kind)
Method 2: Exploit the Weekly Story Mission
Every week when the seasonal mission reset: Method 3: The Unexpected Knockout Blow (Super Boss Spam)
This one surprised me. Getting triumphs for wrecking high-value targets with Supers added up fast: After hitting around 80% Triumph score from mixing all three methods (mostly bounties and missions), Gronk Kick just… popped. Showed up in my Seasonal Artifact perk tree. No big fanfare, no loot drop, just suddenly there. Took weeks of doing this stuff consistently. Big takeaway: It wasn’t one magic thing. It was doing the tedious daily/weekly chores consistently combined with pushing the specific objectives that spat out the most points. Felt more like punching a timesheet than playing a game sometimes. But hey, shoulder-checking Vex Minotaurs into oblivion with a flaming Gronk Kick? Totally worth the headache. Now excuse me while I go punt a Screeb into next Tuesday.
The Payoff (Finally!)