Alright, so this whole “lifeguard blotto” thing kicked off kinda weirdly. Wasn’t actually planning on getting wasted by the pool, obviously. The name just kinda stuck in my head after hearing someone joke about the sheer exhaustion after a long shift or a tough rescue, feeling completely wiped out, you know? Like, mentally and physically ‘blotto’. Anyway, it got me thinking about actually becoming a lifeguard.
Getting the Ball Rolling
First thing I did was just look around. Where do you even start? Typed some stuff into the computer, looked up local pools, community centers, that sort of thing. Found out there are specific courses you gotta take, run by proper organizations like the Red Cross or whatever is local to you. Wasn’t just about swimming fast, turns out.
Found a course nearby that fit my schedule, mostly weekends which was good. Cost a bit of money, had to save up for that. Filled out the forms, paid the fee. There was a pre-test too, just to make sure you could actually swim okay before they let you in. Had to swim a few laps, tread water for what felt like forever, and retrieve a brick from the bottom of the pool. Passed that, thankfully. Felt like the first real step.
The Training Grind
Then the actual course started. Man, it was intense. Way more than I expected. We spent hours in the pool. Practicing different carries, how to get people out of the water safely – people who might be panicking or way bigger than you. Lots of drills.
- Learning spinal injury rescues. Super careful stuff.
- Using the rescue tubes and backboards.
- Practicing CPR and first aid on dummies. Lots and lots of CPR.
It wasn’t just physical either. Had classroom sessions too. Learning about water safety rules, scanning techniques (keeping your eyes constantly moving across the pool), emergency procedures, basic first aid theory. My brain felt full after those sessions. Honestly, after some of those long pool days, dragging myself out, I kinda understood that ‘blotto’ feeling – just totally drained, every muscle aching, brain fuzzy from concentrating so hard.
There were definitely moments I thought, “Can I actually do this?” Especially during the timed rescue scenarios. You had to react fast, make the right calls, and physically perform the rescue within a certain time. It was tough work.
Making it Through
Finally, test day came. Written exam covering all the theory, then the practical skills test in the water. Had to demonstrate everything we learned – the rescues, the CPR, the first aid. It was nerve-wracking, not gonna lie. Watched everyone else, hoping I remembered all the steps right when it was my turn.
But I got through it. Practiced enough, I guess. When they told me I passed, it was a huge relief. Got my certification card in the mail a few weeks later. Felt pretty good, holding that thing. Knowing I actually put in the work and learned the skills.
So yeah, that’s the story. Started with a weird phrase stuck in my head, ended up with a lifeguard certification. Definitely not about being ‘blotto’ on the job – that’s the opposite of what it’s about. It’s about being alert, responsible, and ready. But the journey to get there? Yeah, that could definitely leave you feeling wiped out afterwards.
