no ifs and or buts

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That Damn Nested Mess

Opened up VS Code yesterday afternoon. Just gonna tweak some API response logic, right? Wrong. Stared at my old Python code and nearly choked. Pure spaghetti nightmare. Conditionals buried inside conditionals like damn Russian nesting dolls. Every time I added a new feature, another “if” crawled outta the woodwork.

no ifs and or buts

My gut just screamed “NOPE.” Remembered some dude ranting about “no ifs” online. Sounded ridiculous at first. Like, how ya even write code without “if”? But screw it, felt desperate enough to try. Deleted every single if, elif, else block in that function. Entire screen went blank. Almost panicked.

Groping in the Dark

Had zero clue how to structure stuff now. Started slinging dictionaries around like bricks. Mapped everything out by hand:

  • Made one dict mapping user types (“guest”, “paid”, “admin”)
  • Another ugly mess handling status codes (200, 404, 500)
  • Even tried shoving error messages into a lookup table

Looked like alphabet soup on fire. Took three hours just to map the first four scenarios. Mouse hovered over the Undo button like twenty times. Kept thinking “just one little if won’t hurt…” But nah. Dug my heels in.

The Click Moment

Around 11 PM, caffeine buzzing hard, I connected the dictionaries. Made a master lookup table:

  • Keys became tuples – (user_type, request_method)
  • Values pointed straight to the right response handler functions

Called it like some_func = response_*((user_type, method)). Sweat started dripping when I hit Run. First test – guest GET request. Bam! Perfect 200 response. Nearly yelled. Tried a paid user DELETE – blocked correctly with 403 error. Couldn’t believe it worked.

no ifs and or buts

But… the admin POST? Crashed hard. Forgot to add it to the lookup. Facepalmed hard. Just added the missing key-action pair silently. Retested. That beauty clicked like a well-oiled lock. Felt unreal.

Morning Grind Reality

Sunlight hit today. Poured cold brew and rechecked last night’s Frankenstein code. Gotta admit – the lookup table looks intimidating as hell now. New guy joining next week? He’ll need a damn map legend. Performance? Honestly dunno yet. Might be slower with all those dict lookups.

But here’s the kicker: Added support for a new “trial” user type in under three minutes. Just plugged in four new key combos pointing to handlers. Didn’t touch any logic flow. Didn’t risk breaking existing crap. That alone? Worth burning my retinas past midnight.

Why bother? ‘Cause that gnarly chain of twenty if/elses was a ticking bomb. This feels… flatter. Still ugly? Hell yeah. But it ain’t gonna strangle me in my sleep anymore.

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