My Parking Adventure Begins
Headed downtown Cincinnati for a concert last Friday, realized I had zero clue where to park near the venue. Friend told me “East Garage is cheap and close, man!” So I rolled the dice and went for it.
First off, GPS totally choked near the entrance. Drove past the darn place twice because the sign is smaller than my phone screen! Pro tip: look for that faded blue sign saying “EAST GARAGE” between Vine and Walnut. Almost rear-ended a taxi when I slammed brakes for the turn.
That Tricky Entrance
Made the right turn too fast – bad idea. The ramp curls like a corkscrew! My truck’s roof scraped the ceiling pipe (major pucker moment!). Saw orange signs yelling “LOW CLEARANCE 6’7” too damn late. Crawled the rest of the way down in 1st gear.
- Floor 1: Full
- Floor 2: All handicapped spots taken
- Floor 3: Closed for painting?!
Sweating bullets by floor 4 when I spotted ONE open space between two SUVs. Did the most awkward 15-point turn imaginable. Scraped my hubcap backing in – sounded like nails on a chalkboard. Whatever. Car’s still got three good ones.
Surviving the Payment Madness
Forgot where I parked like an idiot. Wandered concrete floors for 10 minutes pressing the panic button on my keys. Finally found the elevators (hidden behind pillars, obviously). Machine ate my first five dollars – NO REFUNDS flashed in demon red letters. Almost lost it. Jammed fresh bills in slow as molasses and it finally worked. Got outta there faster than a cat chasing a laser pointer.
Why Bother With East Garage?
Messy? Absolutely. Cheaper than surface lots? Hell yeah paid $12 for 5 hours. Still beats feeding meters every 2 hours. Would I come back? …Probably when my bank account’s crying. Just bring cash, measure your roof height, and give yourself EXTRA time. Peace out.
