Alright, so lemme tell you about my first time trying to give a guy head. Total noob here, right? Hands were legit shaking a bit beforehand. Felt kinda stupid actually. But I figured I’d share the messy details ’cause screw it, someone might find it useful. Here’s how it went down, step by wobbly step.
The Freakout Phase
Saw him across the room. Looked great. Agreed to meet later. Then, full-blown panic hit me while brushing my teeth.
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Mind racing like:
- Wait, how exactly does this work?
- Will I choke? Like, really bad?
- Is my technique gonna be awful? (Probably)
- What if I gag loud? So embarrassing.
- Can’t back out now… can I?
Deep breaths didn’t do jack. Needed actual plans.
The Desperate Prep
Scrolled through my phone like crazy. Found some random forum tips. Grabbed some stuff:
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Stuff I grabbed:
- Mouthwash. Obviously.
- A bottle of water.
- Lube. Just seemed like a good idea.
- Tissues. Like, lots of tissues.
Felt a tiny bit less doomed. Tiny bit.
Getting Down To It
He showed up. We did some talking. Then clothes started coming off. My turn.
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What I forced myself to remember:
- Slow way the hell down: Rushing seemed dumb. Started with kissing everywhere else first. Chest, stomach. Got used to being close.
- Lube? Weirdly useful: Put a little on my hand. Felt smoother moving my hand while my mouth started figuring stuff out. Less dry feeling.
- Depth ain’t the goal: Saw some crazy videos. Ignored ’em. Focused on just the tip at first. Used hand with mouth – way easier than trying deep dive. Less panic.
- Choke Warning System: Felt the gag coming? Immediately backed off an inch or two. Switched to hand stuff for a sec. NBD. Took a drink.
- Look up (sometimes): Locked eyes once. Saw he liked it. Big confidence boost. Went back to focusing on the job.
- No hero sht: Felt tired? Jaw hurt? Stopped. Used my hands. Took a breath. Didn’t pretend to be a porn star. Nobody died.
Kept going slow, checking in (mumbled “good?” got a nod), breathing through my nose best I could. Less terrifying minute by minute.
Aftermath (The Good Kind)
He finished. Cool with how I handled things. Honestly? Big relief washed over me.
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The Big Realizations:
- My biggest enemy was literally my own head going “AAAAH!”. Way worse than the actual thing.
- Going insanely slow at the start helped my brain chill the eff out.
- Basic prep stuff felt kinda genius later.
- Zero pressure to be perfect. Just showing up and trying honestly mattered more.
- Next time? Won’t feel like I’m walking into a horror movie.
Look, it’s awkward. It’s messy. But it’s also just a thing you can figure out. Slow it down, pay attention, keep breathing. You’ll be fine. Maybe even kinda enjoy it.
