Okay folks, grab some water and sit tight. Today was all about trying to throw it down like Bill Walton preached – seriously, dunking ain’t just for the super tall freaks, apparently. Always wanted to slam one home, felt like the damn rim was laughing at me every time I tried. So, decided to dig into some of that old-school Walton wisdom.
The Whole “Let’s Dunk” Disaster Begins
First things first, I watched that video clip of Bill yelling “Throw it down, big man!” about a hundred times. Gets you hyped, right? Figured I needed the right spot. Dragged my sorry butt to the outdoor court early, sun barely up, nobody around to see me faceplant. Thank god.
- Step 1: The Jump Test – Stood flat-footed under the hoop, tried to touch the rim. Yeah… nope. Fingers didn’t even sniff the net. My vertical jump felt like a sad little hop. Gravity just owned me. Bill probably rolled over laughing wherever he is.
- Step 2: The Approach Run Feels Weird – Watched how Walton talked about momentum. Tried taking those long, powerful strides he mentioned, feeling like a baby giraffe learning to walk. Ran from the free-throw line, tried to launch. Result? Air. Lots of air. Maybe an inch off the ground. My sneakers hated me.
- Step 3: The “Palm The Damn Ball” Attempt – Grabbed my worn-out indoor/outdoor ball. Bill emphasized controlling the rock with one hand on the way up. Felt awkward as hell. Ball kept slipping, almost clocked myself in the forehead trying to get it secure. Practiced just holding it high, arm stretched, feeling like an idiot statue.
Glue, Duct Tape, and Maybe Progress?
Muscles were yelling, ego bruised, but stubbornness kicked in. Focused just on the jump first.
- Found a low curb near the court. Started doing step-ups, feeling the burn in my thighs. Did maybe twenty, thought my legs would fall off. Walton said build that base strength. Base felt about as solid as wet cardboard.
- Went back to the approach. Shortened it. Ran from maybe five steps out instead of the free throw line. Concentrated on exploding UP off my last step, not just forward. Heard Bill’s voice about “UP!” in my head. Damn near landed on my backside the first few tries.
- Finally strung it together – sorta. Short run, one big step, plant hard, tried to swing that non-jumping arm UP like Bill said generates lift. Glued the ball to my right hand (mostly). Jumped… and actually slapped the bottom of the net! Progress? Kinda? Still miles from the rim, but felt like touching the damn thing.
Did I Throw It Down? Hell No. But…
After like two hours, sweaty, tired, shoulders screaming, I managed one slightly more respectable jump where the ball actually tapped the underside of the backboard. Felt like dunking Everest. Gravity still won, but Bill’s tips made a tiny difference.
- Learning: My legs are weak noodles. Need more curb stomps… I mean, step-ups.
- Learning: Shortening the approach helped me focus on power instead of tripping.
- Learning: Palming the ball feels less alien now. Still weird, but less.
- Biggest Thing: Dunking is HARD. Walton made it sound simple. It ain’t. But breaking it down step-by-step like he did? Yeah, that actually made sense. Gotta build that base and master each stupid little movement first. Probably won’t dunk tomorrow, maybe not next month. But for the first time, it doesn’t feel impossible. Just damn near it. Gotta keep grinding.
The rim ain’t laughing as loud today. Tiny win.
