Alright folks, buckle up because this one’s a doozy. Happened last Saturday out near Thunder Ridge. Went up for what was supposed to be a chill solo hike, just me and nature. Yeah, well, nature had other ideas.
The Setup (aka Where It All Went Wrong)
First mistake? Figured I knew the trail backwards. Decided to wander off the main path around noon, chasing this killer view I heard about. Second mistake? Packed light – real light. Dumb. Water bottle, half a sandwich, phone. That’s it. No bear spray. Didn’t even think about it.
Found the spot, soaked it in for maybe 10 minutes. Pretty sweet view, gotta admit. Started heading back down, cutting through this dense bit of woods. Super quiet. Too quiet. That shoulda been clue number three something was off. Just… dead silence.
The Oh-Crap Moment
Heard a snap – loud. Like a big branch breaking. Whipped my head around, and bam. Maybe 30 feet away? Adult black bear. Big one. Standing on its dang hind legs looking right at me. Heart just jumped into my throat. Pure panic mode.
What did I do? The exact wrong thing.
- Tip 1: Don’t Freak Out and Run.
Yeah, I freaked out and ran. Instinct kicked in. Stupid human brain yelling “RUN RUN RUN!” Took maybe two frantic steps before I tripped over my own feet and went sprawling into the dirt and dead leaves. Face full of forest floor.
- Tip 2: Get Big and Loud.
Lying there, scrabbling around, I remembered something. Pushed myself up onto my knees first, yelling nonsense at the top of my lungs. “HEY! HEY BEAR! GET OUTTA HERE! SCAT!” Probably sounded insane. Flailed my arms around like a windmill gone mad. Didn’t think about making myself look big – just yelled and waved because pure terror demanded it.
The bear dropped down onto all fours. Didn’t charge, thank goodness. Just stared. Didn’t look aggressive, more like… curious? Maybe confused by the flailing idiot.
- Tip 3: Carry Bear Deterrent.
While yelling, I was desperately patting my empty pockets. Nothing. My bear spray was sitting nice and useless on the garage shelf back home. Worst feeling. Zero defense.
- Tip 4: Know Your Bear.
Finally got my brain working enough to think black bear… probably not out for blood. More likely scavenging or protecting cubs, though I didn’t see any. It took a couple of slow steps towards me. Sniffing the air.
- Tip 5: Back Away Slowly.
Stopped yelling like a lunatic. Kept my arms up. Started shuffling backwards, crablike, super slow. Never took my eyes off it. Talking in the most ridiculous calm voice I could muster. “Okay bear… good bear… just gonna… leave now… you stay there…” My voice cracked. It watched. Took one more step towards my dropped backpack near where I’d tripped.
Made it maybe 15 feet backwards like that, keeping trees somewhat between us. The bear lost interest in me completely, nosed my backpack around. That was the opening.
Turned sideways and walked backwards fast for another 50 yards down the slope, keeping it in sight until I couldn’t see it anymore. Then turned and booked it, heart hammering like a drum solo, straight back to the truck.
The Aftermath
Sat in the driver’s seat for a solid ten minutes, shaking, catching my breath. Checked my phone – surprise surprise, zero signal out there. Lost my backpack, half a sandwich, and a chunk of my dignity to that bear. But walked away in one piece. Lesson learned. HARD.
Went straight to the ranger station, reported it. Ranger wasn’t even surprised. Just nodded and said, “First time?” Yelled at me for not having spray. Told me to hike smarter next time. Trust me, I will. Got some shiny new bear spray hanging on my pack right now. Won’t make those mistakes twice.
