So people kept bugging me about ranking the greatest pitchers ever, right? “Just list ’em!” they said. Like it’s that easy. Buckle up, here’s how my stupid ranking project went down.
The Messy Start
I sat down with coffee, fired up my laptop, feeling all smart. Googled “all time pitching stats.” Bam. Thousands of names, weird numbers like WHIP, ERA+, K/BB ratios. My eyes crossed. Total overload. Remembered my grandpa ranting about Sandy Koufax dominating back in the day. Okay, Sandy on the list then.
Started jotting names on a sticky note:
- Nolan Ryan – dude threw SEVEN no-hitters! Insane.
- Greg Maddux – surgeon with a baseball. Watched him carve up hitters as a kid.
- Cy Young – 511 wins? Like, HOW? Had to include him just for that.
The Argument Phase
Asked my buddy Mike, a stats nerd. Big mistake. He launched into this rant: “Modern analytics show Pedro Martínez in ’99 might be the best SINGLE SEASON EVER! ERA+ of 291! You can’t ignore that!” Fine. Pedro went in the maybe pile. Then my old coach: “Bob Gibson! 1.12 ERA in ’68! Intimidation factor, kid!” Added Gibson, picturing him glaring down batters.
Made a huge spreadsheet (hate spreadsheets). Put in Wins, Strikeouts, ERA, Championships, Awards. Got messy FAST. Walter Johnson has silly career numbers but fewer rings? Warren Spahn won a ton, but post-WWII? My desk looked like a paper bomb hit it.
The “Aha” (Sorta) Moment
Started comparing eras. Dead Ball guys like Christy Mathewson vs. power pitchers like Randy Johnson. Impossible. How do you even? Ended up watching old clips on my phone – Mariano Rivera making batters look silly with one pitch for like 20 years. Dominance. Added him for pure longevity and ice-water veins.
Got stuck at #10. Who misses out? Roger Clemens? Numbers are huge but… you know. Controversy. Chose Tom Seaver instead. “The Franchise.” Felt cleaner. Finished my cold coffee. List felt arbitrary, honestly. Every stat, every story, opened three more arguments.
Here’s what my final top 10 messy ranking landed on (still sweating over it):
- Walter Johnson (the old-school machine)
- Cy Young (that win count is bonkers)
- Nolan Ryan (pure, ridiculous power)
- Sandy Koufax (short peak, blinding peak)
- Greg Maddux (the thinking man’s artist)
- Bob Gibson (scary good)
- Roger Clemens (numbers don’t lie, even if…) shrug
- Randy Johnson (Big Unit, scared everyone)
- Pedro Martínez (absolute magic at his best)
- Mariano Rivera (one pitch, endless dominance)
Why this list? Honestly? Mix of stats, stories, eras, and my gut. Did Tom Seaver deserve Clemens’ spot? Maybe! My head hurts. Learned one thing: there is NO perfect list. People will fight you no matter what. This project took way longer than expected and basically proved rankings are mostly chaos. Good luck arguing over this! I’m taking a nap.
