Getting started with this dumb idea
So last Tuesday I was stuck at IKEA with my buddy Dave trying to assemble his damn Billy bookshelf. The instructions had pictures – super simple. But nah, he’s hammering nails sideways saying “I know a shortcut!” Three hours later we’ve got a bookshelf shaped like a banana. Got me thinking: why do guys refuse to follow basic steps?
Testing the theory
Ran a little experiment at work. Brought in two broken desk chairs – wobbly legs, obvious bolt issue. Asked Tim and Lisa to fix them separately.
- Lisa’s approach: Flips chair over, reads manual, tightens 4 bolts in 10 minutes. Done.
- Tim’s method: Ignores tools I left out. Starts kicking the legs. Then tries “reinforcing” it with duct tape. Later finds hammer and smashes the mechanism “to reset it”. Chair’s now firewood.
Watched Dave try to parallel park yesterday. Had 8 feet of space – plenty for his Camry. Refused to do 3-point turn like I suggested. Just kept ramming the curb until his bumper cracked. Dude literally said “I’ll beat physics into submission.”
Breaking down the stupid
After 27 such observations (yes I counted), here’s the dumbness cycle:
- Step 1: Problem exists. Simple solution available.
- Step 2: Brain goes “I’m special snowflake! Rules are for peasants!”
- Step 3: Creates insanely complicated “better” method using random objects nearby.
- Step 4: Gets stuck/blames tools/accuses physics of personal vendetta.
- Step 5: Finally tries proper method when bleeding/stranded/in jail.
My personal breakthrough
Confronted Dave about the parking disaster. His face did that confused pitbull look. Then came the classic defenses:
- “But my way should’ve worked!” (evidence ignored)
- “You don’t understand the variables!” (he forgot to release parking brake)
- “It’s about principle!” (??? Still lost on this one)
Here’s the kicker – next day I caught him silently reading the car manual while eating lunch. Didn’t mention it. Just smirked into my coffee. Sometimes the stubbornness cracks if you wait it out. Mostly they just double down though.
