Okay so I gotta tell you about this horse rump adventure! Honestly I was scrolling online last Thursday when someone mentioned horse rump steak being crazy good, and I’m like “Hold up, I’ve never tried that!” Next morning I marched straight to the butcher, all confident.
Finding the Meat & First Shock
Butcher gave me this “you serious?” look when I asked. Had to call two places actually – first spot straight up laughed. Second place had it frozen solid though. Paid way more than beef, kinda stung. Threw that icy brick in my fridge to thaw overnight, felt like waiting for Christmas.
Prep Work Drama
Next day, unwrapped it and wow – super lean but weirdly dark. Trimmed some chewy silver skin off the sides while muttering to myself. Made a quick rub with stuff from my cupboard:
- Big spoon of coarse salt
- Lots of cracked black pepper
- Shook in garlic powder like confetti
- Couple glugs of cheap olive oil
- Splash of Worcestershire for funsies
Rubbed that paste all over, left it sweating on the counter for 30 mins. Smelled wild already – like super beefy but… sharper?
Cooking Chaos
Heated my heaviest pan screaming hot. Slapped the steak in and WHOOSH – smoke alarm went nuts instantly! Opened all windows waving a towel like a maniac. Seared two minutes per side ’til crusty. Stuck my thermometer in – only 52°C? Way too rare for this mystery meat.
Dumped everything into my crockpot:
- Sear-charred rump steak
- Chopped onions swimming in leftover steak juices
- Whole bag of baby carrots because lazy
- Two cups beef broth (from a cube, let’s be real)
Cranked it to low and walked away for EIGHT hours. Forgot twice, almost burned dinner.
Shredding Showdown
Came back to the weirdest thing – meat fibers separating like cotton candy when I poked it. Shredded the whole thing with forks while burning my fingertips cuz I’m impatient. Mixed in a jar of BBQ sauce and let it soak another 30 mins on “keep warm.”
The Big Reveal
Served it on sad burger buns with pickles. Kids hovered like vultures – “Is this pulled pork?” Nope surprise it’s horse! Absolute silence. Then my youngest goes “Tastes like candy beef!” and scarfed three sandwiches. Wife grudgingly admitted it was “kinda brilliant.” Leftovers vanished by lunch next day.
What I Learned
Truth bomb: Horse rump needs looooong cooking or it’ll chew like tire rubber. Slow cooker saved my life. That extra shredding & sauce time? Magic. Way better than any beef brisket I’ve attempted, cheaper per kilo than filet too. Will I make it again? Hell yeah – but next time I’ll tape the smoke alarm first.
