So I decided to tackle that Ben Morton Overlook thing after seeing all those fancy landscape photos online. Figured hey, how hard could it be? Grabbed my beat-up DSLR and rusty tripod and just drove out before sunrise. Didn’t even check the weather app cause who needs that nonsense anyway.
The clusterfuck begins
Got there when it was still pitch black, tripped over three different rocks trying to find the “perfect spot” everyone raves about. Set up my tripod on uneven ground like an idiot – whole thing kept tilting sideways every time I touched it. Couldn’t see shit through the viewfinder and my fingers were freezing off.
Finally dawn starts breaking and guess what? Sky’s completely gray like concrete soup. Not a single ray of golden hour light. My fancy composition plans went straight to hell. Ended up taking like 200 identical shots of murky hills while swearing at seagulls stealing my snack bar.
Making stuff up as I go
Tried switching lenses mid-disaster. Dropped my zoom lens in the dirt because my hands were shaking from caffeine and regret. Wiped it clean on my jeans like a caveman. Started playing with camera settings randomly:
- Cranked ISO up so high everything looked like TV static
- Underexposed everything till shadows became black holes
- Overcompensated with exposure until clouds looked radioactive
Pissed off some serious-looking photographers nearby when my tripod collapsed during their 15-minute exposure shot. Got the death stare.
Embracing the suck
Ended up sitting on a muddy rock eating cold pizza from yesterday. Said screw it and took some photos of garbage blowing around the parking lot. Changed angles completely – pointed camera straight down at some cracked dirt instead of epic vistas. Played with focus stacking by jiggling the focus ring manually like a madman.
Found out later half my “golden hour” shots were ruined by lens flare from greasy fingerprints on the filter. The radioactive cloud shots actually looked kinda metal though when I slapped crappy Instagram filters on them.
Left after five hours smelling like wet dog and failure. Camera smelled like pepperoni pizza for weeks after. Still can’t find that damn lens cap.
