So this hugging question hit me last Tuesday. My kiddo, seven years old and full of beans, tripped over his own feet running for the bus. Scraped knee, big tears. I did the usual mom stuff – patched him up, kissed the boo-boo. Later, driving home, he was super quiet in the backseat. Normally jabbers nonstop. Felt… off. Made me wonder: Was that quick hug and kiss enough? How often should I be hugging this kid anyway?
Starting Point: Feeling Kinda Clueless
Honestly? Before this, hugs happened when something went wrong, like the fall, or bedtime goodnight, or leaving for work. Quick squeezes, mostly. The fancy people say “bonding,” but day-to-day? It just felt automatic, not something I thought about counting. Then I stumble on this article title: “How Often Should Mom Hug Son?” Heck, even asking that felt weird to me. Does it need a number? But seeing my kid all quiet… figured maybe there’s something to it.
So I went digging. Clicked around some parenting sites, feeling skeptical. Loads of stuff talking about “oxytocin” and “attachment.” Made my eyes glaze over. Then I found something simpler: a child therapist guy mentioned that hugs aren’t just bandaids for boo-boos; they’re like daily vitamins. Helps kids feel safe, secure, less squirrely. Okay, that kinda made sense. He said little kids, especially boys who might not always say how they feel, often need that physical connection regularly to know they’re cool. Suggested aiming for multiple points throughout the day, not just when they crash and burn.
The Awkward Trying-It-Out Phase
Next day, I decided to try paying attention. No fancy number goal yet, just… more. Morning chaos: trying to find matching socks, pack lunches, yelling about brushing teeth. Instead of just hustling him out the door, I stopped. Squatted down, pulled him in for a real hug – tight, lasted a few seconds, not the usual half-pat. He froze up for a second, then kinda melted. “Love you, buddy. Have a good day.” Got a mumbled “Love you too, Mom” back, which is gold when you’ve got a seven-year-old boy.
Felt weirdly intentional, almost forced at first. After school pick-up? Normally: “Hop in, buckle up.” Instead: BIG hug right there at the curb. Got a little squirm and a “Mom!” but he didn’t push away. While he was building some crazy Lego spaceship later, I walked by and just ruffled his hair and gave his shoulders a squeeze. “Looks awesome, kiddo.” Got a grin without him even looking up. Started counting in my head – one… two… three… four if you count the hair ruffle?
Bedtime got upgraded too. Besides the quick kiss, lingered longer with that hug. Felt him just breathe against me. Went from literally five seconds max to maybe fifteen. Huge difference? Felt like it.
What Actually Happened (Spoiler: It Worked)
Took maybe two, three days of doing this more consciously. Small, extra moments of connection. Things I started to notice:
- The Quiet Faded: That weird quietness in the car? Gone. Back to chattering about Minecraft adventures.
- He Started It: Yesterday, completely unprompted, he ran up and hugged me around the waist while I was unloading groceries. Nearly knocked the milk over. Best near-disaster ever.
- Tantrums Fizzled Faster: Little frustrations – like a video game not working – he’d get mad, sure, but calmed down quicker when I just put a hand on his shoulder or offered a hug, instead of arguing.
Is it some magic cure? Nah. Kiddo still leaves dirty socks everywhere. Still argues about screen time. But the feeling? It’s different. Less tension somehow, more of this… warm hum between us. Like we’re more plugged in.
So, the “how often”? Experts might quote numbers – 6 hugs a day, whatever. For me? It’s less about counting. It’s throwing those extra moments in – the squeeze before school, the real-deal hug at pickup, the shoulder touch while he’s building Lego chaos, and that solid minute cuddled at bedtime. It’s making sure those connection points happen, peppered through the day like little anchors. Feels less like a chore, more like… well, just showing up. And honestly? Getting hugged back unprompted makes me feel like super mom. Forget the expert quotes – that’s the real payoff.
Final thought? Don’t overthink it. Just hug your kid when it feels right, and maybe even when it feels a little awkward at first. Chances are, they need it more than either of you realize. Now? It’s part of my routine, like brushing teeth, but way more satisfying. My arms get tired sometimes? Yeah, maybe. Wouldn’t trade it.
